The 4 best times to connect with your baby

Dear Tunester,


At this point you know that my biggest mission is to help you feel more in tune with your baby; To help you think less about all the technical stuff and focus on what really matters – your connection with your baby.


It’s the kind of thing we need reminders about. Sort of like meditation – No matter how experienced someone is at meditation, their mind will wander at some point. The work of meditation, and the moments in which new neural connections are built, is when they gently tug their attention back to the moment.


Liz, a Baby in Tune mom who’s on her third round of classes with her third baby, recently said- “I think your message needs to be shouted from the rafters 🙂 I’ve heard it before & I still need the reminders.”


So I’ll keep shouting it from the rafters and singing it into your ears 🙂


But the fact is that you can’t possibly be present with your baby all the time. It wouldn’t even be healthy! In order to be good parents we need to have our own interests, relationships, and activities. We need to spend quality time AWAY from them in order to spend quality time with them.


So before you go beating yourself up for not singing your baby the ABCs today, not reading them one more book, or being gone all day at work, know that your baby absolutely needs to see you doing other things. Even more than that. They need to see you ENJOYING doing things unrelated to them.


But there are times during your day when you should hold yourself accountable to being fully with your baby. My message today is so simple and obvious you won’t believe you didn’t think of it yourself (or maybe you have and just need a reminder :).


These are times in your day when you’re with your baby ANYWAY. I’m talking about those rituals that happen every day, seemingly millions of times.


4 times during your day when you should be present with your baby:


  1. Wake up
  2. Diaper changing
  3. Feeding
  4. Bedtime


Even if you head off to work early, spend the day on calls, or strap the baby on for a day of errands, you’re probably still doing at least two of these rituals.


And since you’re with your baby ANYWAY, let’s make these moments count.


Here’s how:


  1. Don’t take the phone with you when you change a diaper. 
  2. Ignore your to-do list while you reunite with your baby in the morning.
  3. Don’t let your mind wander to how good Netflix will be while you’re doing bedtime.
  4. Focus on the way your body feels and the way your baby feels as you are feeding and snuggling together.

(If you’d like more tips on how to be present with your baby check out this blog post.)


I know it’s a big ask. But the return is boundless.


So dear Tunester, do you agree that these are the moments to work on first of all? 


How do you make sure you’re present with your baby during these moments? I always play this song in class to inspire parents to feel more in the moment with their baby.


Do you have a friend who needs these weekly reminders? Send them this post and tell them to sign up for more. 


Yes! Please send me the Tuesday Tune-In!