The ultimate Valentines game for you and your child

Dear Tunester,

Valentine’s Day is around the corner and we can either dismiss it as a money seizing Hallmark holiday, or use it as a reminder to be more intentional about how we show our love to those around us.

Let’s choose #2 this year. Why? Because if there’s one thing Covid has taught us it’s that life is fragile and short. And though the pink hearts in the windows may make your red blood boil, Valentine’s Day also brings a sentiment that we can stand behind too.

Today I want to offer you a little game that I play with my kids whenever I’m feeling distant from one of them.

Those of you who have more than one know that finding moments of connection with each child is key to their emotional state and to keeping the peace in the home.

Whenever one of my kids is going through a period of acting out more, having more tantrums, or seeming more down than usual, I know they need a one-on-one boost.

The game I’m about to suggest is a direct way to filling their cup and reminding them how much we love them. It’s a simple game but it runs deep.

I’m going to give you two versions of this activity – one to do with talkers and one with pre-talkers/infants.

 

The ultimate Valentine’s activity to do with your kid:

 

For talkers:

It’s fairly simple. You say:

“Let’s play a game. We each say why we love each other. I’ll go first.”

And then you say something about their character or personality, not about things they can’t control like physical attributes. You might say:

“I love you because you always find a way to make activities more fun.”

“I love you because you always notice when I need a little help.”

“I love you because the first thing you want to do in the morning is hug me.”

You go back and forth with them, each saying one thing.

That’s it! That’s all it is. But I assure you that if you do it, it will do wonders.

 

For pre-talkers:

I wish I had done this with my babies.

YOu’re going to come up with a similar list of why you love your baby, and WRITE it down. 

It might be something like:

“I love you because you smile and jump up first thing in the morning when you see me.”

“I loev you because you make me laugh when you…”

That list is going to be something you want to go back to in a few years. It will remind you of the little quirks that you adored. You think you’ll remember these details, but you won’t. The reason is that they’re going to continue to have quirks that you love. You can’t possibly remember them all.

Also, your baby will also want to see that list once they’re old enough. I often try to recall things my kids did as babies and tell them about it. But unfortunately they often blend into one and I can’t remember exactly who did what. Definitely a function of child-birth related memory loss…

 

It’s amazing how long we can go without telling the people we love why we love them. It takes some bravery.

So this Valentine’s Day let’s change that.

TODAY is the day to tell your baby (and other people you love) exactly why you love them 🙂

Do you have a friend who needs some Valentines inspiration? Send them this post and tell them to sign up for the Tuesday Tune In.

Want some ideas for how to repair your relationship with your partner on this Valentine’s? Check out this post.

What will you tell YOUR child today when you play this game? Please COMMENT below and let us know. Let’s share the love.

 

 

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