Tag Archives: infant

3 fresh activities to do with your 6-12 month old baby

November 22, 2022 Vered

Dear Tunester, today you’ll learn 3 fresh activities to do with your 6-12 month old baby that will boost their development and amuse you both.

When I had small babies at home they changed so quickly that last week’s favorite activity quickly became old news. I scrambled to find new ways to stretch my baby’s mind and, more importantly, amuse us both.

So today I’ll offer 3 new ways to keep you both happily busy. But first – a question to figure out their stage of development –

If you take something away from your baby – do they look for it?

If they’ve started to show some signs of searching for a hidden toy, then they’ve hit an important milestone that psychologists call Object Permanence.

What does it mean to become aware of object permanence?

That your baby is learning and sensing that something continues to exist even when they can no longer see it.

That’s a big deal!! This development affects their cognitive, emotional and social development.

Here’s a quick rundown and how it affects their development. Then, scroll down to learn three activities your baby will love right about now.

Social.
Knowing an object continues to exist means knowing that YOU continue to exist even after you leave. Has your baby been crying more as you leave? If so, they may no longer accept it as a given. Now they have the knowledge that when they don’t see you you’re somewhere, just not with them.
Your baby’s disovery might be distressing for them at fist (and for you to hear their crying,) but its a necessary leap in their growth.
Cognitive.
When your baby was an infant they were completely egocentric. Meaning, they couldn’t conceptualize a world that existed separate from their experience and point of view.
As they’ve grown your baby has been able ot develop a mental representation of things. Meaning, when you say banana they can imagine a banana in their mind even though they don’t see one in front of them.
Emotional.
When you take a toy away form your baby they might not cry as they did before. Instead, they’re able to contain they’re frustration and set about looking for where the toy went. That’s a big step in starting to manage difficult emotions and problem solve.

Now let’s talk about activities you can do that will spark your baby’s interest, develop their curiosity, and help them manage emotions that come with this new burgeoning awareness.

The Magician

Step 1 – put a small object on the table. Let your baby see it and touch it. then cover it with an upside down cup. Can your baby find the object? If not, teach your baby what happened. Show them the steps again. Reveal the object underneath. Your baby might need several repetitions of this activity.

If your baby can find the object underneath, try step 2.

Step 2 – Take 3 cups and 1 small object. Now bring out your inner streetside magician. Put all of the cups upside down with one of them over the small object. Let your baby explore and find the object.

Peekaboo Variation

Peekaboo is wonderful for helping your baby practice object permanence and separation and reunion with you. Let’s try it a little differently this time.

Instead of you or or baby hiding behind a scarf as you usually do, use a doll or puppet and put the scarf over the puppet. Let the puppet say – “where is baby? Where are you?” And let your baby reveal the doll.

To add animals and even more fun to your peekaboo, try using this song.

Hidden Treasure

For this activity you need is a box/basket/bowl. You’re going to fill your box with various objects – a beloved toy, day to day objects your baby doesn’t often see or play with, a book they love.

For the younger babies who are just learning object permanence, leave an object exposed so your baby knows to look under the cloth.

For the older babies cover the basket completely and hand it to your baby. Let them discover and explore the objects one by one. Then, put them all back in and do it again.

Which of these activities did your baby respond to most? Could you see their wheels turning as they were trying to understand where the objects went? Comment below and let me know.

In the middle of playing and your baby needs a diaper change? Try this hack to make it much easier and more enjoyable for you both.

Vocalizing, Uncategorized, Parenting, Routine, Blog

How to hack diaper changing

November 8, 2022 Vered

Dear Tunester, today you’re going to learn a way to make diaper changing go from struggle to smooth sailing.

I bet you didn’t realize how deep in shit you would be as a parent, in more ways than one. But today let’s focus on the literal.

How many times a day do you deal POOP? Checking, smelling, changing, and cleaning…A LOT.

Now if you’ve got a pre-crawler diaper changing might still be somewhat chill. But if your baby is on the move it may have already turned into a wrestling match.

So what do you do? It’s simple.

Use a Diaper-Changing Song.

Yup, sing while you wipe. It can be about pee, poop, diapers or anything really. A Diaper-Changing Song is part-reminder, part-timer.

Here’s why it will work:

1. It lets your baby know that changing is about to happen.

If you start to sing your diaper-changing song as you are bringing the diaper and as you start to undress the baby, then your baby will know it’s coming. Part of what they hate so much is that you are interrupting their play. It’s like my kids protesting when I call them to dinner – “Wait a minute! I’m in the middle!” A song can let your baby know that they’re about to be changed.

2. It can be a time keeper.

Babies are intuitively musical. Whithin a few times of singing your song, your baby will start to recognize it. Not only that, they’ll understand know the beginning, the middle and the end. Babies seem to understand song structure. Often in my groups, babies as young as eight months old start to clap toward the end of the song because they know it’s about to end. Use the song as a way to tell your baby how long the diaper changing will take. It will behave like a sand timer and your baby will feel a bit more in control.

Don’t have a Diaper-Changing Song? Let’s make it happen.

It’s possible that you already have a song but you don’t think about it as one. Do you ever find yourself singing silly ditties about poop, not peeing in your face or staying still? That’s all I’m talking about.

Don’t overthink it. You can write a silly ditty on your own. Start by noticing what you say as you’re changing your baby’s diaper. If you usually say, “Please don’t pee on me” or “You are a poopy head,” then put that in the song. It could look something like this:

“You’re my little poopy head
Let’s go get you clean
But baby hold still –
And please don’t pee on me”

I am sure you can come up something better than that. It’s really about noticing the melody you already use in your speech when you’re speaking to your baby.

Imagine how you would say – “Come here stinky pants.” Probably with a little sing-song in your voice. Use that for your ditty!

Remember – it doesn’t have to win a Grammy. But if you’re able to write a short song that you sing every time you go to change your baby’s diaper, the task will become so much easier. Not only that, you’ll be one step ahead and ready for the squirmy stage.

So dear Tunester, what song makes your life easier at the changing table? COMMENT below and let me know.

Can it top: “Wipe wipe wipe your butt / gently wipe the stream”? Do tell. I love to hear what little ones respond to. Comment below.

Want to use a changing song I wrote? Try this one.

Did you catch last week’s post in which I shared the 5 things I would never do as a therapist of babies and parents? Check it out here.

Before your next diaper change … Share this Tuesday Tune-In.
Be the person who gives another parent this useful idea. Forward this email their way and tell them to sign up for more below.

Mental Health, Parenting, Blog

My baby is growing too fast!

August 16, 2022 Vered

Dear Tunester, you’re doing it. Your connection with your baby is growing daily. You feel it deeply as you lay together on the floor, sunlight dancing on the rug, making faces to each other and giggling and cooing. You inhale the moment. It’s beautiful and magical.

But the moment is suddenly broken. Into your mind enters an unwanted guest: Lady Bittersweet.

Nothing jolts you out of the present like Lady Bittersweet. “This moment is so fleeting, enjoy it as much as you possibly can.” she whispers. “Don’t they look bigger already? They’re going to outgrow that onesie soon, you know”. She knows exactly what weepy buttons to push.

And suddenly you’ve gone from enjoying a sweet moment of connection with your baby to feeling guilty for reading an article during your morning coffee. What a waste! You should have been staring into their eyes, smelling their breath, and memorizing every new strand on their head!

Why is it that sometimes, the deeper we are in the moment, the harder Lady Bittersweet can hit? And next thing you know you’re feeling a longing for what you’re currently enjoying?

Today’s thoughts are about how you can acknowledge her, give her a gentle nod, and go back to enjoying your baby . Or in other words, how can you avoid spiraling into parent guilt and mentally leaving your baby to lash out at yourself?

I have a few ideas that have helped me in those moments. Hopefully they can help you as well.

How to usher Lady Bittersweet out the door

1. Yes, AND

We tend to make order of the chaos by dividing and contrasting. It’s this or that… maybe this, but probably that…definitely this, not that. But rarely do we allow ourselves to say yes, this…and that. “Yes, my baby won’t be a baby forever, and I can still enjoy this beautiful moment while allowing myself my own peace”. If we try to push aside or stifle Lady Bittersweet, she’ll just come back stronger. But we can hear what she has to say, appreciate it, and go back to enjoying the moment that’s here.

2. Balance!

Do you have a favorite food? I could eat smoothies, popcorn, and an excellente guacamole all day every day. But that would be a terrible idea! Not only would I be ignoring other things that my body needs, my enjoyment of those foods would soon wane.

If you force yourself to spend every moment of every day in hyperfocus on and appreciation of your baby – it will become a chore (as many baby caring moments are), instead of a priviledge. Enjoy your morning coffee and article, or whatever your practice is, knowing that it will allow you to approach your connection to your baby refreshed and in earnest.

3. Make your own peace with time

Your baby grows from nothing to a full person in the first year and witnessing that can feel like a clock constantly held up in front of your face saying- Time is going by so fast!

And you now what that reminds you? That YOU’RE getting old!

One of the ways you can combat Lady Bittersweet about your baby is to acknowledge and quiet that voice about yourself. What would that look like for you? It means something different for everyone. For me it means doing Invisalign this year. It’s my way of saying to myself – You’re young! You have many years of smiling ahead.

What action can you take that will be your way of saying – time can pass but I’ll be young forever.

4. Open your senses to your baby

To retether yourself to the moment with your baby, focus on how your baby feels, sounds, smells, tastes. Touch them, listen closely, Imitate what they are doing, the expressions and sounds they’re making. Don’t think about reaching a developmental milestones, don’t worry if you’re doing things right, the smaller and seemingly insignificant sesation you focus on, the better. For more on how to do this, check out this post.

Lastly, give yourself grace. We all have these moments, it is a universal experience – be gentle with yourself. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you are moving mountains.

How do YOU overcome your longing for the very moment you’re in? COMMENT BELOW and let me know.

Do you have a friend who’s been taking visits from Lady Bittersweet? Send her this post and tell her to sign up for more below. Instagram is also a good way to find more tips to help you through your day with your baby.

Mental Health, Family, Parenting, Tantrums, Blog

4 ways to turn a tantrum around

February 1, 2022 Vered

Hi Tunester,

Today’s post is all about what to do with your toddler when you hit those hair pulling tantrum scenes that you know so well if you’ve got a baby over 12 months:

I want that! No, I want THAT!! No THAT!!!! No No No No!!!

I can do it myself! I can’t do it!! Don’t help me!

Waaaaaaa! (flat down on the sidewalk)

The strategies I’m about to give you are from moms in our Baby in Tune classes and I fully endorse them all.

Before we go into them, remember your most important first steps –

Empathize.
Allow for difficult emotions.
Take a breath.
Know that it is completely normal and will pass.

Ok. Now let’s look at 4 great ways to handle tough moments.

4 Strategies to Turn a Tantrum Around.

Sing a song

It’s probably not surprising that this is my favorite technique. When you sing a song as your baby is having a hard time, it does a few things:

Lightens up the mood. It lowers your baby’s (and your) cortisol levels and reduces stress.
Adds playfulness to the situation. Reminds you both that there is another way to deal with the situation.
Offers a solution. For instance, the mom who said she sings a song uses the Hokey Pokey when her toddler is having a hard time getting dressed – “you put your right leg in…)
Is a time keeper. Gives your baby to take a few breaths until the song is over. By that time they might have regained some equilibrium.

(This week I’ll be illustrating these strategies on my Instagram page if you want ot see them in action.)

Find the Game

This is the ultimate cure for tantrums. It can be most effective but also demands the most from you initially.

It’s about finding the play or the game in the situation. The reason its so hard for us is that when your baby is yelling in the shopping cart, arching their back and trying to throw anything in reach, you might not exactly feel like playing. You probably feel like getting the hell out of there as soon as possible.

But if for a moment you’re able to access your super-parent powers that may be dormant at that moment, you can turn the situation around completely. Once you manage to eke out a small smile you’ll be cruising.

Examples:

If your baby is having a hard time getting dressed, you might stick your hand into a pant leg and surprise them by turning it into a puppet.
Maybe you put your shopping list aside for a moment and start driving the car around like a car, cutting corners and making car noises.
When they don’t want to get out of the bath maybe you take one of the bath animals and act out a scene with them in the water that ends with the animal exiting the bath

Stand By

You want your child to know that it is totally ok to have big emotions and to express them in any way that is not harmful to them or others. With this strategy you are giving your toddler the space they might need but are also letting them know that you are with them. It works best when you’re at home and have time to ride it out with them.

You can say something like “I’m with you. It’s ok. let me know when you’re ready for me to help you.”

The important part is to do this without resentment or anger. You’re standing by and allowing space for your toddler’s feelings.

Set a Timer

Sometimes tantrums happen right when you need to get somewhere, get dressed, leave the house, get out of the store and you don’t have the time to patiently let your toddler ride through their peaks and valleys.

In those cases it’s nice to provide your baby with some structure. Having limits can be comforting, especially when they’re in a state of loss of control. It also helps you feel a sense of control and gather yourself before approaching again with patience and compassion.

What you would do is say – “I’m going to put a timer on for 3 minutes. During the 3 minutes you can try on your own as much as you want. Once the timer goes off you’ll let me help you.”

Important:

Before, during, or after these episodes make sure you give YOURSELF the same compassion. Let yourself step away for a minute, gather yourself, give yourself a hug.

Better yet, do this for me – high five your reflection in the mirror and tell yourself you’re a kick ass mama. And then get back in the ring.

Do you have a friend who needs tantrum help? Send them this post and tell them to sign up below for more helpful tips.

What strategy do you use when your baby is having a tantrum? Is it any of these? COMMENT below and let me know.

For more info on different types of tantrums and how to handle them check out this post.

Tag Archives: infant