I was so cocky going into motherhood. Were you?
Even if someone had shared the wisdom I needed when I was crazed with my first baby I’m not even sure I would have listened.
But boy do I wish I could have taken in what I know now. It would have saved me endless heartache, anxiety, and self-reprimand.
So just in case there’s a mom to be out there who might have slightly less bravado than I did, and may just be open to hearing some sound advice, here goes:
9 things I wish someone had told me and I had LISTENED to before I had my first baby:
- You don’t need a perfect schedule.
Babies end up pretty much the same with or without the obsession on when to feed, when to nap, when to sleep. (And man, I obsessed hard.)
- You won’t get a truly good nights sleep for about a year.
You may sleep-train, co-sleep, or go with the flow. But no matter what you do your baby will have periods of sleeping through the night and periods of hourly wake ups for the entire first year.
I fought it like Rocky Balboa with the first two. By the third I accepted it and we were a happier family for it.
- Creating good habits with your baby is important.
Even if your schedule is loose, a morning routine, a sleep routine, and feeding routine will be anchors for years to come. And when the time is right those practices will help you slip into a more consistent schedule like a boss.
- The MOST IMPORTANT thing to focus on is your connection with your baby.
Forget all the noise around you about the latest gear, the conflicting internet articles, your MIL telling you you’re doing it wrong. What matters MOST is your bond. Foster it naturally and tenderly. You’ll know you’re doing it right when it FEELS right.
- It’s all in the BORING moments.
The magic happens when your baby is simply looking around the room, or playing with yarn in the rug, or searching for your hair as they nurse, or crinkling a dry leaf outside. That’s the stuff. Not the instagrammable moments.
In fact, do yourself a favor and catch THOSE moments on video. You’ll want them later. I so wish I had more of those.
- Focus on the time you are WITH your baby, not on the moments you’re not.
Let the guilt go. Give your full attention to the moments you are with your baby – the diaper changes, bedtime routine, bathtime, middle of the night feedings. If you can be fully present for those then you’re ahead of the game.
- Model self-care from day one.
Teach your baby that you’re a better mom when you take care of yourself. Make it a priority to take distance when you need it, go for a solo walk, meet a friend, read a book. And do it unapologetically, because it benefits your baby as much as it benefits you.
- Make every effort to meet other parents with babies your baby’s age.
Go to classes with them, go for a walk in the park, go for a smoothie. You need the support. But more than that, this is one of those periods in your life when you are primed to make Best Friends. It’s like roommates in college. Going through it together will make you blood sisters for life.
- Know that there is NO RIGHT WAY.
Parenting is about trial and error, taking a deep breath trying something and then trying something else. What worked yesterday won’t work today anymore. And that’s ok.
I don’t want to sound cocky here but you know what I wish? I wish there had been a Baby in Tune class when I had my first baby. I would have learned this stuff there. I would have found my best mama friend. I would have learned how to develop good habits with my baby and how to deepen our connection.
But alas, I didn’t have it. So I created the class because I wanted YOU to have it.
On that note – we have new classes starting!! Some are in person in NY and some are on Zoom with me. I’d so love to see you there. Sign up for those here.
Also – have you ever wanted to lead baby classes? Or learn more about what it takes? My Baby Class Formula FREE Training starts TOMORROW!!