Quarantunie, It’s week 4. Time to be real.
We talked about some activities you could be doing. We talked about ways to feel more present with your baby.
But the fact is, the one thing you should be doing right now
IS NOTHING.
You know all of those art projects your crafty friend is posting? Screw them.
You know the muffins your baker friends are serially pulling out of the oven? NOPE.
The puppet shows your builder friends are constructing,
The apps your plugged-in friend is urging you to download,
Even the song your Broadway musical friend is writing with her baby.
Forget it. You don’t need to do any of it.
You know why?
Because your baby has all the enrichment they need just by being with you all day.
You are keeping your baby safe. Your baby is thriving. Your baby is doing great.
They’re watching you work, clean, fold, cook, rest, smile, cry. And all of it enhances their lives.
Maybe they’re even “helping” with the laundry? Kudos.
But Tunie, here’s what you DON’T need to be doing:
- Berating yourself for not staying on a schedule.
- Comparing yourself to your friends who are constructing castles out of cardboard or dolls out of towels.
- Feeling guilty for not wanting to play more with your baby.
You’re doing a lot, and you’re just trying to keep it together, and that is ENOUGH. Of course you don’t want to build one more magnet tile tower. Unless it has a bed inside it with a door you can close, that is.
And guys, do me a favor. I see that invisible whip in your hand that you use on yourself every time you hand your baby a screen. LAY OFF.
Yes, our kids are watching WAY more screens these days.
No, it is not melting their brains.
Yes, it is keeping you sane and that counts for a lot. Hey, it bought you a shower yesterday. That’s absolutely a win.
And yes, this period will not last forever.
At a certain point things will go back to our normal.
We will return to our individual screen limits. We will monitor junk food more consistently. We will not constantly be on edge because we will have the alone time that we desperately need right now.
There will be an adjustment period but it will be done. This is not the new reality forever. And when we need to reconstruct our boundaries regarding food, screens, sleep, and behavior, we will.
But right now, give yourself a break.
You all were very real with me this week. I asked, – “What do you wish someone would say to you right now?”
You said:
- That my baby is ok.
- That my kid can eat more junk right now.
- That my baby doesn’t need to reach every milestone exactly on target.
And most of all:
- That you can’t be 100% at both parenting AND working.
Haven’t you been telling your best friend exactly this?
Because right now we all look like Jimmy Fallon trying to host a show. And all we can do is laugh nervously through it and try to keep a smile.
But here’s the best part of this period despite all of your fears—you are giving your baby EXACTLY what they need and want: more time with you.
So before you go into the confession room to be punished for your sins, do THIS.
Take that glass of wine. Go take a seat on the couch. And congratulate yourself for being a kick- ass parent.
You have kept this boat afloat. Your baby barely feels the shit storm that is happening outside.
And that’s because you are doing a great job.
Hoorah.
Have you had a QuarantineWin today? Maybe a tiny little moment where you felt like you were crushing it, or even just not losing it? Help out a fellow Quarantunie by sharing here.
Do you have a friend who hasn’t showered in days, had to meet with the VP while she changed a diaper and just put the ice-cream away in the pantry? Maybe she needs to hear this. Send her this post and tell her to sign up for the Tuesday Tune In here:
Yes! Please send me the Tuesday Tune-In!
