Did anyone else’s week go by in a flash? Could May possibly be almost done? Is it Tuesday already??
This month feels so different from March and April which moved like a snaaaaaaiiiil.
You know why? It has to do with newness and sameness, novelty and monotony. Let’s look back.
In March the crisis hit us in the face. We spent all of our energy and time coming to terms with the seismic shift in the world, the horror of it, the extreme upheaval in our lives.
April followed along after. We were still absorbing, buying masks, furiously scrolling through the news, anxiously trying to figure out the million educational apps sent by teachers, worrying about grandparents, cooking 17 meals a day, figuring out how to survive our day to day.
By the time May hit we were used to the sitch. Not that we liked it, but we settled in. Stopped fighting it. We bought a few more boxes of mac and cheese and found places to order in from, we said f*ck it- my kid figuring out how to navigate Netflix like a pro counts as learning how to read, we accepted that we weren’t going to be the best parents during home stay, nor the best employees at our work.
We found some sort of routine in the chaotic lack of routine or maybe we just fully surrendered. And slowly, days started to look the same.
So here we are. We don’t see many new people (or many people at all), we don’t have many new experiences, we don’t go to many new places. We have fallen into the humdrums of it. (Of course, those of us who are in the trenches of this crisis are having a completely different experience).
And that’s when time flies by. When we don’t have newness, when there is nothing unordinary in our day, when we don’t encounter surprises along the way or have events to mark the time.
Remember when we had mini new moments all throughout our day? A shy glance at a stranger at the supermarket after we made the peppers come tumbling down. A clever comment we made to a new mom friend at pick up. A presentation we kicked out of the park after sweating it out the night before.
In their book “The Power of Moments,” Chip and Dan Heath find that we tend to remember ‘defining moments’; moments which are surprising, meaningful and extraordinary. When we have these moments we feel as if time is moving more slowly.
Think back to a time in your life when a lot of new things were happening—your first year of high school, a backpacking trip, your first months of being a parent. I bet if we had met during that time you wouldn’t be saying “It’s Tuesday again?” Because then every day was packed with new challenges and surprises.
Home stay means we aren’t having many new experiences that don’t involve our kids. Don’t get me wrong, those are PLENTY and are extremely fulfilling.
But I’m here to push us to find some more this week.
According to the Heath brothers, these are some elements that make for memorable and defining moments:
- Boost your sensory appeal. This week, buy some flowers for your home. Turn up the music, light some candles, tickle your senses.
- Raise the stakes. Push yourself to do a presentation you’ve been putting off. Play a game you’re scared to lose, set a deadline for yourself that you know is a big challenge.
- Break the script. Do something that surprises your spouse. Hell, do something that surprises yourself. Buy him/her a gift, create a surprise of some sort, or simply say something you don’t normally share.
- Find connection. Create synchronized meaningful moments with others. This one is harder to do in quarantine, but not impossible. (Baby in Tune is all about helping you do exactly this.)
This week in our classes, I gave you homework to find moments like these and you came up with some ideas for how you would do this. One of you said you would run outside after not running for a while, another said you would try to bake something new, another said you would take the family on a trip.
So now I’m giving you the homework too. Let’s find ways to make this week memorable. Let’s bust out of the quarantine humdrums and change it up. You might not be able to try jumping out of a plane at the moment but I bet you can find a risk to take this week.
And I want to offer one way I can help you do this: Last week I told you how to write your very own quarantine song. This week I’m giving away 8 FREE sessions to a family who wants to write a song with me. I’m just feeling it. It will hit a lot of those points the Heath brothers mention: sensory, connection, breaking the script.
And it’s a win win. I get to break out of my quarantine blues too and connect with you all.
If you’re interested email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
So let’s do this. Let’s flip the script on quarantine and take back some of the power. Who’s with me?
Can you think of a way to stretch yourself this week and do something that makes you sweat a tiny bit? Share with us! We’d love to get some ideas. Comment below.
Do you have a friend who could use some coaxing out of the humdrums? Send them this post and tell them to sign up for the Tuesday Tune In.
Yes! Please send me the Tuesday Tune-In!